I'm the world's worst at writing posts. Maybe because no one really reads this. I don't know. But I'm going to try to do better about that. I journal a lot and I think that it's important to document my life and journey so I can look back and see how the Lord has been moving.

Today I met with my advisor to talk about my last year in Undergrad. I only have to take 30 hours more before I get my degree. That is about 11 classes. It's a ridiculous thought. After speaking with her I feel very confident about next school year. I have my classes for next semester planned out and know which ones I would prefer for my last semester. It's a relief to know exactly what I'll be doing next year and to know that everything is in line.

BUT. Towards the end of our session I asked her about Grad School and my chances of getting in if I were to decide to go and the first thing she asked me was "Why?" And my answer was "Well, I don't know." I've told a few people that I'll go to Grad School because I have nothing better to do with my life. I don't think I need any further education for what I want to do, but grad school sounded like a good option. I think a lot of that decision is that I really really do not want to get a real job. I don't feel like it would be using the talents and gifts the Lord has given me. I think it wouldn't honor Him to put my passion for using my gifts on the back burner. And just because getting a real job is the smart choice doesn't mean it's the right choice. There is a lot of pressure to get a real job after graduation on any college student.

I mean, the Lord could change my heart and call me to have a normal job like everyone else. I know that He will guide me to ways that I can use that position and the personality He's given me to bring people to Him. I have faith that His Glory will be made known through me as long as I am in step with His will. But He has brought me to where I am and lit this fire within me, and I can't imagine Him leading me in a different direction. It just scares me to death some times not knowing what is next and in what direction He is leading me. I know where I'd love to be lead. There are a few possibilities I see in my future. And some of them will require me to really step out and have audacious faith. And I think I can do that. In fact, I will.

There's a song that is really speaking to me now, sung at Elevation Church. I think they may have written it, but I might have just lied to you, haha. But here are the lyrics and a video. I bolded the lyrics that are really speaking to me. Especially the last bit :)

We are the change
the world is waiting for
We've got a love
the world is desperate for
We will lead
and take to your streets


Now's the time for us to rise
and carry hope and let love shine
and show this world that mercy is alive

Now's the time for us to rise
and carry hope to hopeless eyes
and show this world that mercy is alive

We're not afraid
we will abandon all
to hear your name
on lips across the world
we will run
in the wake of your love

Now's the time for us to rise
and carry hope and let love shine
and show this world that mercy is alive

Now's the time for us to rise
and carry hope to hopeless eyes
and show this world that mercy is alive

Fill our hearts with your compassion
let our love be active here

We will go

Where You tell us to go.

We will speak out Your very Word.

We will move

when You tell us to move.

We are Yours.

We are Yours.